Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
