I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize