Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.

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(727): View more from Florida

I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.

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(518): View more from New York

You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.

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(440): View more from Ohio

do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from

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