laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
