I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize