I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
