You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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