Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
