hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I had to cum in my sink.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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