Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
