3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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