Christians are straight up FREAKS
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
