If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
