I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The best revenge is premature balding
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My dick has a subreddit
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
