I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
