Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
