i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
