"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
