Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
