Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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