i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
