i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
