How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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