There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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