Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
