..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
