Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize