Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My ass is underappreciated
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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