I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
