Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
