I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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