I want to have your abortion
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
