I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
They are going to name an STD after you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
