chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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