I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
