? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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