I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
