i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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