3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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