I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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