hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
