The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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