sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize