was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
