my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
