I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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