You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
