Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
