I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize