not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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