I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
