you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize