don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
