so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
