His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
