Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
