Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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