You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
