"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
