You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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