I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
