so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
